My Journey begins with recovery

My Journey Begins With Recovery

As a using addict, despair was my relentless companion. It colored my every waking moment. Despair and depression was born within my experience in addiction: No matter what measures I tried to make my life better, I slid ever deeper into powerlessness and unmanageability within my life.

Attempts I made to control my life frequently, met with failure. In a sense, my current admission of powerlessness was an acknowledgment of my immediate despair. During my addiction, I tried to fill the bottomless void inside of me. I never felt fulfilled, or at peace with myself. I lived a worthless existence which evolved around my selfishness.

I know my Higher Power can restore me to sanity today. I have relinquished my life and my will over to the care of my Higher Power, as I understand him. Now, with willingness and meticulous work on my part, the Spiritual Principles of Narcotics Anonymous can take hold, and guide me in the direction I need to go.

I can now overcome my fears, by letting go and allowing my Higher Power to take over to assist me in my recovery. Believing in my Higher Power has now become my shield against the destructive forces of active addition. I have regained hope in my life. I have known for years these Spiritual Principles are working in other peoples' lives. From previous experience, I know N.A. works.

I have made a commitment, to myself and my Higher Power, for positive change to transpire within me and my recovery. Recognition of spiritual enlightenment motivates me, driving me towards applying these simple suggestions from others, in my daily life.

As I trust in my Higher Power, while being responsible, loving and courageous in my daily life, I will grow along spiritual lines and I will become again, a grateful recovering adduckt.

A very important Spiritual Principle in my recovery is humility:
1) I need to learn to let go of old behaviors and thoughts that prevent my forward progression.
2) I need to develop spiritual beings that are free from pride and arrogance.
3) I need to seek out new ways of existing that enables me to experience miraculous achievements that are NOT a part of my disease.
4) I need to learn the true meaning of love, forgiveness, and rigorous honesty.
Then, and only then, will I discover, that the swiftest way to obtain love, forgiveness and honesty - is to Live It.

I am learning to forgive myself, and others for all harm done in the past. I need to become totally honest in all my affairs. I am focusing on my path, willing to go to any length to achieve my goals, hopes, and dreams.

Courage in recovery is a vital virtue which can bring about success, understanding and inspiration. Courage establishes the possibility of better improving reality; it clears a passage to explore new horizons, to stand up for those things in which I wish to achieve.

It's the ability to achieve sanity in my life. When I take a step forward, I am granted the strength and wisdom necessary to implement my serenity. When I triumph over frustration and denial, I will rise above my perceived limitations, with help from other recovering addicts in the fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

While I expand my awareness and acquire a new, fresh perspective - I will be assured that my Higher Power will lead the way, and then I can only gain a better understanding of purpose and direction, unafraid to move forward with a heightened sense of significance and self-consciousness.

It is essential that I believe in myself, and never lose faith in my ability to accomplish my goals, while maintaining confidence, persistence and change. Change is a process that starts with the mind, then enters the soul, and comes forth through decisions. I am the only one who can decide who I am and what I need to change. I am also the only one who can choose to decide how I feel, how I act, how I think, how I respond, what road to travel, who to trust, what goals to set, and how to allocate the circumstances that come my way.

Personally, I am the kind of addict that always tried to analyze how it works, meticulously and methodically, and who tries to uncover meanings of life's purpose. Whether the path is easy or flooded with obstructions along the way, my Higher Power will steer me along the path, displaying the way, the truth, and the meaningful life of recovery. He will show me, I always need to be honest with myself, my addiction, my character defects and shortcomings, on a daily basis. He will show me, he can set me free from the chaos and despair of active addiction, and extract me from the hopelessness and insanity and then inspire me with hope and faith.

Faith believes in the unknown, and by trusting in my Higher Power this will put aside my perceived limitations. Faith knows that if I continue to be responsible in my journey, and to never admit defeat, that my Higher Power will mold me, and arise in me - the power, the courage and the strength necessary to possess the desires of my destiny.

Daily, I must maintain conscious contact with my Higher Power in order to completely live in His will for me. I am beginning again to live a humble lifestyle that brings me serenity and peace of mind. Happiness is one of the fruits of ?action? that I have found on my journey in recovery today.

My past self-centeredness has evolved into spiritual-centeredness, which has recently initiated a conversion from fear to trust, from shame to gratitude, from frustration to acceptance, from deceitfulness to honesty, from weakness to courage, from powerlessness to strength, from hate to love, from sadness to happiness, from chaos to serenity, and from failure to success. These virtues help carry me through each day.

Darkness now dissolves from the light that guides my way. This light is a soothing presence that is continually within me as I maintain conscious contact with my Higher Power, and as I pray for the knowledge of His Will for me, and the power to carry it out.

Never before have I found a group of loving friends who welcomed me with no strings attached. The unity that we give, assists each of us to stay clean, if for only one more minute, then one more hour, and finally one more day.

I know I have a choice today (which is my cleantime birthday) ? I have 90 days.

Thank you Valley Hope ? Atchison.

By: Ed B.